Invader Zim Revamped!
by HyperSpooches58
Summary: My continuation of the cult hit series. It starts off about 2 years where they left off. A lot has happened. The main cast has moved on to Midul Skool, Zim knows all about the hoax of his mission, Dib's head is BIGGER THAN EVER, and GIR's making waffles! Who's ready to be invaded again? This is Invader Zim; REVAMPED! Will be updated every Tuesday or Friday.
1. Pilot Therapy

**Author's Note**

Thank you in advance, for reading. I hope that this little Pilot of mine keeps you reading. If I get enough reviews to continue I will do so happily. If not, I'll still do it. :)

Enjoy

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**Name**: Therapy

**Summary:** Dib's father recommends him for therapy when all the while someone is more deserving of it.

**To Be Read While Listening To:** Therapy by Reliant K (It'll more than likely end before you're finished)

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"Dad for the last time, I don't need therapy. I'm fine." Dib protested as his father drove closer and closer to the white building.

"Oh, but you do son. Your insanity wont go away without it! It's the scientific way!" Professor Membrane proclaimed and shifted the car into park as they entered the parking lot.

Dib groaned and shook his head, "Dad, these people can't help me."

"Of course they can." Prof. Membrane took his son's hand and walked him towards the door.

"Alright, I'll see you in half an hour. Have fun." the scientist said as he pat Dib's head.

"WHAT? You're just going to leave me here?" Dib shrieked.

"I have to son! There is much work to be done in the labs!" his father glanced at the watch on his wrist and gasped dashing towards his car without another word.

"Great. Just freaking great." Dib stomped his foot in frustration.

He considered the options he had at the moment.

1) Walk in there and just go through the whole session of someone asking him asinine questions.

2) Chase after his dad's car and continue begging.

3) Run like there's no tomorrow.

We ALL know what he chose but before he could act a familiar voice stopped him from any motion.

"Quite sad your own parental unit drops you off here, isn't it human?"

Dib choked out a single word, "Zim?"

The black-wigged, violet-eyed alien jumped down from his position up on a branch in a nearby tree.

"Dib... filth." he added for god measure.

"I thought you said you don't do heights." DIb tensed as the Irken approached him.

"I've said a lot of things haven't I human boy?" Zim sort of sighed.

Dib was going to reply when realization dawned on him, he was making conversation with his enemy again.

"Well, if you excuse me I have a session to go to." he walked towards the door.

"No-wait." Zim called in a monotone voice.

Dib turned to face him, "What?"

"Do you _really _want to go?" Zim asked eying the boy.

Dib considered this, he really, really didn't but his other choice was to get annoyed by Zim.

"No, but I don't think I have a choice." Dib finally grumbled back.

"Sure you do. You are a human. You have equal rights. This is correct?" Zim replied, squinting one eye suspiciously at the teenager.

"Well, yeah. But Dad paid good money for my therapy." Dib excused himself, hoping the Irken would just drop it there.

Unfortunately for him, "Oh, Dib-stink, do not play the monies game with Zim. he knows your father-unit makes good money as a scientist drone."

Dib rolled his eyes at Zim's limited English knowledge, "Look Zim, I don't have time for this right now."

"Sure you do." Zim repeated the phrase.

"Say that one more time and I'll cuff you." Dib threatened reaching in his pockets to trick the invader.

Zim took a cautious step back and quickly eyed Dib's hand movements, "You're bluffing. You have no cuffs in your possession."

Dib inwardly growled, "Just leave Zim. I'm not in the mood to deal with your 'stupidness'."

The ex-invader winced at the words, "You sound like my Tallest."

Dib suddenly felt very guilt, he was brought back to when he witnessed Zim being mocked and threatened by his own leaders. Even he didn't know what type of pain the fooled alien felt, sure his own race couldn't stand him or were disgusted by him, but Zim's own hated him and wished death upon him.

"I didn't mean that, Zim." Dib covered up stepping towards the Irken who's head was no hung low to the ground.

"You know, Dib-stink, I think out of the both of us and anyone in that blasted building... Zim needs therapy the worst." he hissed in a low tone.

"Yeah, with you always speaking in the third-person and all, I agree." Dib joked, hoping to get an equal reaction from Zim so that this feeling in his gut would leave.

"Not because of that." Zim missed the sarcasm and slowly backed away like a frightened animal being cornered.

"Don't leave." Dib blurted out before he could stop himself.

Zim glanced up at Dib, a tinted glaze in his contacts with suppressed pain.

"Why shouldn't I? I'm obviously stopping you from your precious therapy." Zim spoke, glaring.

"No, no you're not. Sit." Dib commanded and pointed to the curb.

"Why shou-"

"I swear Zim if you ask me another question I will materialize those cuffs just to shut you up." Dib threatened.

Zim go the message but remained unfazed as he sat by Dib tensely.

"Relax, Zim. This is your therapy." Dib worded carefully. Apparently not _too _careful.

"Therapy? Zim- I mean- I need no- I mean- I don't need any therapy." Zim tripped with his words constantly.

"Just trust me with this and shut-up." Dib said through clenched teeth.

"Try a different approach next time. And I trust no-one, everyone I trust just stabs me in the-forget it I'm leaving." Zim stood and walked away.

"Stop being a coward, Zim, and just spill!" Dib shouted building confidence.

Zim froze and turned on his heel, eyes turned into cat-like slits, "What. Did you just. Freaking. Call me. Human." he broke it into dangerously lengthy sentences dripping with venom.

Dib paled slightly, "I-I don't mean coward."

"Then what DID you mean, human?" Zim spat inching towards Dib, the boy could almost feel the coldness radiating from him.

He gulped and spoke again carefully, "You said it yourself, Zim, you need therapy."

Not careful enough.

"I was joking! I don't need any! Especially NOT from you!" Zim snapped as he stopped only a foot away from Dib.

The boy stepped backwards secretly afraid of the alien, he covered his own cowardice with a dark glare, "No you were not! You may not know what lying really is Zim, but I do! And I can tell you were speaking full-on truth!"

Zim's eyes flashed with something, it wasn't fear or anger, it wasn't sadness either but pure shock towards the other. He had the will-power to stand up to him, Irken Zim. He now had Zim' full attention.

Dib noticed this and continued in a more calming and softer tone, "Zim, I promise I wont hurt you... badly." he nearly choked on the words, disgusted at himself for showing remorse for the Irken male.

"You do not have to speak to me like I will break if you raise your voice, Dib-thing." Zim snarled, despising being talked to like a smeet.

"Hey choose Zim! Do you want Insane, yelling therapist or Softie, calm-speaking therapist?" Dib barked jokingly.

Zim laughed a little at this even allowing a little smirk to appear but he quickly recovered and went back to glaring silently at the boy.

"I choose none."

Dib sighed and then pat the concrete beside him, "Our session starts no, Zimberly."

"Oh, so now I'm a girl?" Zim hid his amusement with a harsh growl.

"Fine, Zimward." Dib tried another one noticing the hostility in Zim's voice flicker a bit.

"And now I'm a British vampire from Narnia?" Zim listed off the things he associated with the undermining name.

"Just sit already. Zimmerman." he added the last part for further amusement.

"I never really recalled myself being a weird human that eats bugs." Zim stroked his chin jokingly.

"God, we're never going to get this over with if you keep that up!" Dib snapped half-heartedly.

"Then stop calling me names that aren't mine." Zim defended finally sitting next to Dib.

Dib was at first startled at this action, not expecting the deranged alien to comply as quickly as he did. But he immediately went calm again and said his second command, "Lay down."

"What?" Zim asked confused.

"You heard me, lay down. Down boy." Dib repeated and pat his legs like he was commanding a doggie.

"Zim is not a filthy dog-monster." then he rolled his eyes, "Fine." and laid down on the rocky surface.

"Good, now close you eyes." Dib nodded and recalled the therapist video he was forced to watch before leaving this morning.

"This is stupid!" Zim screamed, frustrated, and sat up.

Dib pressed a hand against Zim's chest, "No, no, you're doing great!"

Zim looked down at his intruded invader uniform, "Hand. Off."

Dib snatched his hand back as if touching the alien's clothing burned him suddenly.

After a while Zim sighed and laid back down, closing his eyes, "What's next?"

The human looked at Zim, utterly shocked, then replied, "Now we ask questions. You will listen to my every word."

"More like hypnotist than therapist." Zim chuckled at his own joke.

If it wasn't directed at him, Dib probably would have laughed too, instead, "Very funny. Do you want my services or not?"

"As long as I don't have to pay, NO." Zim answered back bluntly.

DIb mumbled under his breath then turned back to their make-shift session.

"The first question, how are you feeling right now, Zim?"

Zim snarled annoyed then returned with, "Angry. Annoyed. Irked. Irritated. And did I mention, Hatred?"

"Hm, that's harsh what do you think makes you feel this way, Zim?" Dib asked not skipping a beat as he continued the act flawlessly.

"You and your hippo-head!" Zim answered angrily.

"Anything else possibly?"

Zim opened his eyes slightly and sneaked a glance at Dib, surprised that he didn't throw a comeback about he head.

"Possibly the fact that my whole race hates my spooch and wants me dead in some terrible accident." Zim admitted before he could catch himself as his eyes closed once more.

"And what makes you think that they hate you?" Dib inquired.

"They told me theirselves." Zim's body went slack as he recalled the memory.

"Who is 'theirselves'?" Dib pressed ignoring the grammar mistake.

"My Tallest." Zim choked out the words that suffocated him with pain whenever spoken.

"And did these 'Tallest' ever give any reason that they hate you?" Dib queried.

"Several." the Irken rolled on his side squeezing his eyes shut tighter.

"Can you list some of them please?" Dib whispered as he watched the once stubborn, narcissistic alien curl up into a ball on the curbside beside him.

Zim released a deep breath as he hastily tried to keep down suppressed sobs upon the memory, "I ruined Operation Impending Doom One, wrecked two control brains, and killed two Tallests."

"Wow." Dib's act faltered for a moment as Zim's words sunk in.

"I know. I'm stupid and disgusting aren't I?" the extraterrestrial shrugged.

"I never said that, Zim. Perhaps we should move on." Dib went back into therapist mode.

Zim's antennae twitched as he trailed off, "Perhaps."

"Is there anything else they told you?"

Zim considered this, tell the human and risk possible humility or just demand the next question?

"Can we skip that one?" Zim asked in a nearly pleading tone, he realized this and continued, "NOW." in a harsher tone.

"We can't fully evaluate you problem if you refuse answer some questions because you don't want to, Zim." Dib warned.

"Problem? I'll show you a real problem when I give you a black eye." Zim threatened lowly as he opened his eyes to glare at the boy.

"It's better to talk than resort to violence." Dib said back surprisingly not alarmed by Zim's quick attitude change.

"I like violence so much more than this." Zim hissed then closed his eyes once more.

"I know you do, Zim, I know you do." Dib nodded in understanding.

"They called me a defect." Zim interrupted, his voice dark and obviously pained.

"A defect? What, may I ask, is a defect?" Dib asked.

Zim squirmed uncomfortably, "Me." he said in a breath.

"Don't believe everything that you hear." he felt awkward as a twinge of building pity hit him.

"What if everything I hear is true?" Zim replied sighing, nearly slipping from his state of mind as thoughts raced through it.

"What if all you hear isn't always the right one that you think is true?" Dib countered.

"A defect is an Irken with a malfunctioning PAK." he blurted out suddenly clutching his head as he dug his claws into his green skin.

"Zim, stop." Dib commanded as he watched some green blood leak down the side of ZIm's head and fall to the ground.

The alien realized what he was doing and stopped.

"And do you have a malfunctioning PAK?" Dib continued.

"Well, yes, I have a lot of... data in it..." he cringed remembering his trial. And he had thought all this time the Tallest were joking, what an idiot he was.

"I didn't ask about data, Zim, but that dismissed, do you believe you are a defect?"

Zim swallowed hard, "Y-yes.", he absolutely disliked how much of an inferior he sounded like at the moment.

"Do you accept you are?" Dib's question might as well have been a kick to Zim's spooch because that's how it felt like to him.

But he had to think about it, hard. Should he really accept his defectiveness, or keep staying in depressing denial like he had been before?

Finally Zim made up his mind for the first time in his life without his leader's permission or guidance, or without his PAK's intelligence. He was in control of his thoughts, unrestricted and unbound.

Dib grew concerned as he watched Zim's back shudder in front of him as his antennae fell back.

"Zim are you-" he stopped mentally slapping himself for showing worry.

The Irken's eyes flew open as he turned to face Dib, eyes glazing again with contained sorrow that he refused to show.

"I-I actually do accept." Zim mumbled out, staring practically right through the boy.

"You do?" Dib stared at Zim wearily.

"I do. I accept. I am a defect." the alien nodded slowly.

But this alarmed Dib further, had he snapped something in Zim that un-nerved him beyond repair? He shuddered at the thought, not anticipating that outcome.

"Zim?"

He watched as Zim nodded in understanding.

"Now I get it. I never needed them. Or that darn race of jerks!" Zim announced and sat up.

Dib let out a surprised sound at Zim's sudden movement but didn't fell anyone wrap their claws around his neck so he peered at Zim through half-closed eyes.

"Zim only needs himself and no-one else!" he continued grinning a little triumphantly.

"Actually that's not true, Zim." Dib spoke up.

"Then... who do I need if I need more than myself?" Zim asked, confused, hadn't that been what the human was explaining just a moment ago?

"Someone who wouldn't turn their back on you ever. Even though sometimes they can hate you guts they still care about you... a-a little. And would be devastated if your ever disappeared sudden-" Dib stopped abruptly, realizing he was talking about himself. He had been very concerned when Zim had became isolated and left that one month. He was mostly afraid that he had lost the only living proof he had of aliens but then there was the tiniest of a feeling of worry for Zim's well-being. He did care about Zim, but it had been because he wanted to kill Zim himself during an autopsy or their final battle sort of thing, but now he was unsure why he really cared, because deep inside he felt something more than to see Zim at his mercy but... did that part of him really exist?

Zim remained the innocent child of the two and tilted his head, "Who are you talking about, human?"

Dib's face grew hot as he answered, "Me."

"You!" Zim shrieked in shock and disgust.

"Yes, Zim, me." Dib mumbled annoyed at the alien's reaction.

"But we are enemies." Zim said, slightly confused.

"I know we're enemies, but, not right now. Right now I am your therapist." Dib covered it up by playing his role again.

"I am enemies with my therapist?" Zim muttered even more confused than before.

"No! I mean, yes! I mean - forget about it, Zim, your session's over." Dib turned away glaring at nothing. He didn't know why he was feeling this way, wasn't it good that Zim associated them as enemies. He was too confused and angered to really care at the moment.

"No it is not. It's over when Zim says it's over." Zim replied curtly crossing his arms and glaring at Dib.

"On break." Dib returned in a deadpan voice.

"No break! You tell Zim right now what you're talking about!" the Irken demanded rising to his feet, towering over Dib's slumped form, as he pointed down at him.

"You're speaking in the third-person again, Zim." Dib turned and gave Zim a look.

"Zim can't help it! He does this when he's frustrated!" the alien explained as he fell to the ground, growling in irritation.

"Oh, so that's why you do that?" Dib whispered.

Zim nodded, surprisingly silent.

"Session continued." Dib couldn't stop himself as he uttered the words unconsciously.

Zim smirked a little gratefully, then got on his back and closed his eyes obediently.

Dib couldn't help but snicker at the sight, "Don't get too used to this, Zimberly."

"Oh Irk, any other name than that." Zim groaned.

"Anyways. How are feeling like, now?" Dib jumped into a question.

"Confused, aware, but mostly confused." Zim replied a little less hostile.

"Why do you think you feel this way?" Dib continued.

"My enemy just said he cares about me."

"Interesting, what makes you think he cares?" Dib tugged at his shirt collar nervously.

"He told me himself." Zim replied without missing a beat as he smirked a bit more. Boy, would he use this to his advantage. What softies humans were. Can't even keep an enemy.

"Who is this, 'himself'?" Dib questioned, already knowing the answer.

Zim was going to respond when, "DIB MEMBRANE!"

Both boys jumped at the interruption. They turned around and saw a tall brunette woman in a nice slim suit.

"Do I know you?" Dib asked.

Zim gave the woman an angry look, "You just intruded on a VERY serious matter lady."

"Well you should, I'm your therapist, Rhonda. Or Rhonny." she stood out her hand towards the teenager, ignoring Zim's rant.

"Oh." Dib cough as he shook her hand, "Sorry, I let time slip away."

"Oh no, that's okay, trust me kid, I know you don't want to be here." Rhonda whispered to him.

"You do? Wait. You won't tell my dad right?" he asked frantically.

"Of course not." it was then that she noticed the seething Irken that was Zim, "Is he your friend?"

"Oh him, no, he's my... patient." Dib proclaimed and grinned triumphantly as he watched Zim nod approvingly at his choice of words.

"Oh, I see, getting into the mind of a therapist." Rhonda nodded in understanding.

"Exactly." Dib looked over to see that Zim had disappeared, slightly disappointed he looked up and saw in a tree, two violet eyes staring at him, narrowed unconvincingly in suspicion.

"Well, here comes your father." she announced.

Dib glared at the ground as thoughts of his father just leaving him there without any guidance whatsoever.

His father pulled up in front of them, beaming under his collar at his son proudly, "How was therapy, son?"

Dib's eyes twitched as he clenched and unclenched his fists with rising anger, "Just great." he mumbled the last part, "You lame excuse of a parent."

**End Note**

Well thanks for reading. If you want Episode 1 up soon than review, **review**, **REVIEW!** Thanks for reading, again!


	2. The Nightmare Relapses

**Author's Note:**

This first episode was originally going to be a random one that I made up immediately after the Pilot but I decided against it so that you're not TERRIBLY confused. This first episode centers around the events after Zim gets told his mission is a lie and well just read or watch in your puny Earth brains. But mostly,...

Enjoy.

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**2 Years Ago...**

"Worthless!"

"Pathetic!"

"Waste of space!"

"Oh and what was it, DOOKIE-WEENIE!"

"Stupid!"

"Insolent!"

"Fool!"

"Faker!"

"Joke!"

"Stupid!"

"You've already said that..."

"I have? Oh... then, waste of space!"

"You've said that TOO."

"Oh."

"Anyways, I think he gets it."

"Yeah! So don't ever call us again! Or we'll...we'll.."

"KILL YOU!"

"Yeah! That!"

"Then drink you blood like it's a victory drink!"

"Eww... I don't wanna do that."

"THEN WE'LL CRUSH YOUR PAK!"

"And punch out you eyes!"

"And vacuum up your spooch!"

"And beat your empty shell with a bat!"

"Then dump you unceremoniously in a filthy Earth ocean!"

"SO **DON'T **CALL US! Or we'll do ALL OF THAT!"

"Without a care!"

"That's right! Without. A. Care."

The screen darkened and the two tall aliens left the other, smaller one's sight. It didn't take long for the 'waste of space' to sink in every hurtful and scarring word they had thrown at him. The beginning had started with every single violent, disgusting, or identity-breaking Irken insult about 3 hours before. In between they used Earth insults they had picked up from the insulted Irken's endless supply of useless Earth junk he sent in complete and utter irony. And it died down to anything they could think of. Not once, except towards the very end, had they used one insult twice. Now Zim had over 10,000 more names. None of them did he deem approval.

It wasn't his choice whether or not he could stop that whirring in his PAK, or stop the gloppy substance from his eyes from forming, or even catch that deep sob in the back of his throat. No, that wasn't any of his choice. He simply could not keep down any of his bodily functions at the time when he collapsed to the ground, a green, unblinking shell who had shut-down his conscious temporarily. The watery substance deep within his deep ruby eyes poured in streams down his hot cheeks that were burning a deep green. His horribly shaking body to heave what he had been force-fed by his delusional SIR unit previously that day. His head was pounding when he ultimately decided something for the good of himself. He absentmindedly stepped aboard his purple and pink painted space vehicle. Regardless of his current mental health he switched on the ignition and flipped on the controls. The headlights flashed on, the vehicle hummed to life, and the roof opened above him. Now aware of what he was about to accomplish he wiped away some of the scalding tears and pressed a blinking red button. He barely heard the computerized voice ask, "Setting Into Hyper Drive, What Are Your Desired Co-ordinations?" The conflicted Irken whispered his response, "Anywhere." "The Given Co-ordinations Do Not Compute. Please Request A Different Set of Coordinates." He growled in frustration, "ANYWHERE! HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND! I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU TAKE ME!" "The Given Co-or-" "ARGHHH!" he cried out in anger and pounded an already throbbing fist on the control board. "Thank You. Get Ready for Hyper Drive In 3, 2,1." And with that said the small voot cruiser blasted out of the sky with a brilliant aura of purples, blues, pinks, and whites into the deep outer space. And all a bewildered 10 year old raven-haired boy watched as the all-too-familiar Irken transportation vehicle disappeared from his bespectacled sight.

And now it's known that on the night before Dibid "Dib" Membrane's 11th birthday his only proof of extraterrestrial and paranormal life, the moronic and maniacal Irken "Invader" Zim left planet Earth on a freak mission, to DESTROY what destroyed his own life. And he... didn't even know it yet.

**Present...**

_Where was he? He did not know. He couldn't tell and with his navigation system busted there was no estimated time that he would find out._

"Out of the way, dweeb."

Once again Dib was roughly slammed into the dark grey lockers to his right as Torque Smacky pushed is way through the morning Homeroom crowd, which unfortunately included the troubled teenage boy.

He didnt take the shove to heart, ever since they were classmates in Elimentry Skool Torque bullied his way out of everything. So he simply ignored the already sub-siding pain in his shoulder as he knelt down to his locker.

13...34...14...

It was an easy combo and soon he had the metal door open as he jammed his backpack into the small space, picking out his binder and textbooks from the lower compartment.

The only good thing about his locker was that he had shelves installed in them, call it dumb luck or a little sign from God that He was still looking out for him, this made him almost always the first to class to avoid conflict with his fellow (jerk) classmates.

Today was no different as he slipped through the door as soon as his long-time teacher, Ms. Bitters, opened it slightly.

"Dib." he received the normal, formal (sort of) greeting from his older authority.

"Ms. Bitters." he nodded in acknowledgement and sat in his seat, laying his head down in his arms.

"Your parents don't _pay _for you to _sleep _in class." the old croon hissed angrily when she caught shutting his eyes briefly.

"Yes ma'am." he nodded again and sat up straight, he looked at the clock on one side of the wall and groaned when he realized the time, 7:56.

He blinked. How did anyone even allow him or the others in? They weren't allowed to go inside the facility till 8:30.

"Whatever." he whispered and whipped his sight back to the dry erase board in the front of the classroom. Even though the sanitation and technology had approved in Midul Skool he hadn't seen as much as a step up in the attitudes of the staff. Not one bit. Same faulty security that only perked up when there was a lice outbreak or voting for skool president. Frowning, he flipped open his binder to a picture, the same picture he looked at every day. Every. SINGLE. Day. Since it occurred over two years ago. He was soon ripped from his thoughts when even more classmates filed in. In fear of getting made fun of because of the certain photograph, he slammed his binder shut and moved on the balancing a pencil on his nose with precise balance. Light as a feather!

**(A/N: That was for you 'Globs of Doom' fans. ;))**

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Where was he? He did not know. He couldn't tell and with his navigation system busted there was no estimated time that he would find out.

The Irken silently wished he had brought along his dysfunctional robot companion along with him. Many a months, possibly years he spent in isolated and consuming silence. And now it was driving him insane. He simply could not stand just hearing the hum of his vehicle all the rest of his miserable, unplanned life.

Flipping on a view screen, he aimlessly tried ANOTHER line of communication. With no-one on the other end but deafening static, he cursed in his native tongue then slammed his foot into the ground in disappointment in himself. This had become a sort of sick schedule for him. When he was up he was either going over his life with a red marker or trying to get someone's attention for his much deserved, scratch that, _needed _rescue. When he had passed out from the lack of vitals that his PAK couldn't supply, he spent that time dreaming about somebody actually hearing his pleas and helping him, actually aiding him, with his escape... back to society. Heck, he'd even settle for seeing that ROCK again... what was the name? Earn? No. Eat? No... that's what the inhabitants did. The inhabitants... he remembered clearly, the hideous, some even _tall_ (which he now believed didnt even matter anymore) creatures that reeked of stupid. They were known as... what was it...? Human! Yes, humans. So maybe the planet was Hurth? Close enough, he decided as he laid his head against the cool padded head-rest of his one-man seat. The only thought in his head rung out from all sides, bouncing around in his subconscious. Was he ever going to see anyone ever again?

~~~~!

_'I hate lunch.'_

That was all Dib could think of.

It wasn't even in the same category of eating. More associated with the words, slop, pigs, and humility. Because that's all that occurred during that period of time.

The food was vomit-inducing and dare he even consider it _food_? Possibly a better definition was the stuff that the lunch lady (ape) gave them somehow thinking they would devour it like they were a bunch of hobos. Well Dib wasn't any hobo and he pushed aside his pre-paid mess and went on to mindlessly writing and drawing in his pad. After a while his peace was interrupted by the more 'upper class' kids barging in on his privacy and watching him as he tried to keep up his work, while ignoring them to the best of his ability.

"Hey crazy boy, what're you drawing now?" Torque started.

"Nothing." Dib replied, not really concentrating on the bully.

"Nothing my head. You're drawin' somethin', somethin' stupid but it's still somethin'" Torque insisted, leaning over the boy's thin figure to peer at his creations.

Dib held the pad away from the others' eyes as he angrily growled deep in his throat, why were the bullies always breathing down his neck?

That couldn't be answered in time when a chubby arm reached down his face and snatched the pad straight from his skinny fingers.

"Hey!" was all Dib could say at the time, shocked.

"Hey, guys, check it out it's the weird green kid from our old Skool. Wasn't it Zam or something?" he sneered holding up the picture for everybody to see.

Dib glared deeply at the boy before demanding, "Give me back my pad, Torque, and I wont get your butt sent to Principal Simpson!" Apparently he had learned a thing or two from Gaz.

Several (immature) kids 'oohed' in shock that he had stuck up to someone Smacky's size.

"You've got a mouth on you, punk. You won't tell no-one because your too chicken I'll turn back on yah!" Torque got in Dib's face, his eyes flashing with a look that said, 'do it, I dare you.'

_To Be Continued..._

**End Note**

Cliffhangers are a beautiful thing, don't you think? XD Anyways so I need CROWD PARTICIPATION! Tell me shall our Dib Membrane **fight back? **Or just let the ugly bully take his pad while mock him! YOUR CHOICE! **Review** and the next part should be up soon!


	3. The Nightmare Relapses Part Two

**Author's Note:**

Didn't keep you guys waiting that long didn't I? *hears a lot of muffled yes's* Good! Well, this is one of my more interactive fan-creations so I shall be answering your reviews personally, myself..! on this chapter! Haha, and yes I also did this for 10 Days. :P

**Tinowenn**: I like the thought of that :D We'll see.

**Tobi the Simsmeister:** Haha, no worries, because I was thinking the same thing too. Glad you loved it, and yes I thought the quotations would catch a few eyes. And about Dib missing Zim, well,... without spoiling it, sorta-kinda. You'll have to read and see ;)

**Kazehana23: **Ohhh I really like that idea, like I said to the above persons, you'll have to see. And don't worry I plan on giving Torque his just-desserts. Aw, thanks that means a lot XD "The pants command me! Do not deny my veins!"

Well it seems that the lot of you chose that **Dib fights back**. So here we go!

Cue the Invader Zim theme song!

I **do not **own Invader Zim or any of it's characters but I DO own this story, so no stealing! Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez

~~~~!

_"He awoke in a startled frenzy. His heart-beat twice it's regular speed. Oh how he wished he could name this creature stuck in his head whenever he had lapsed into hiatus."_

"You've got a mouth on you, punk. You won't tell no-one because your too chicken I'll turn back on yah!" Torque got in Dib's face, his eyes flashing with a look that said, 'do it, I dare you.'

Dib growled under his breath, his teeth clenched tightly together, "I'm going to tell you one more time. Give. Me. BACK. My. PAD."

Torque smirked and narrowed his eyes, then he leaned in closer to Dib's face, "No."

Letting out a strangled cry, Dib pounced on Torque, pushing him to the ground with all his force. The brief first move was enough to get the crowd started, "Fight! Fight! Fight!" they chanted.

Once he realized what had just happened, Torque looked up at Dib, "You're gonna die today, worm!"

Dib howled as a hard blow was delivered to his gut, he fell backwards onto the floor, curled up in a ball. Torque smiled at this and rose to his feet. He towered over Dib menacingly, "Heh. That's what you get for messin' with me."

At the moment Dib couldn't respond as stray tears of pain clouded his vision and all breath was knocked out of him from the punch. Torque brought back his foot and said, "After this, we're even."

Dib prepared himself for the kick, knowing he couldn't avoid it now. But when it never came he noticed that the kids were laughing along with Torque, pointing down at him.

"Look at him! He looks like a baby!"

"Pssh! What a wimp!"

"He deserves it!"

The teenager grit his teeth as he growled angrily once again. Rising to his feet noticeably he brought back a long arm, at the other end was a clenched fist ready to collide with flesh. One moment ago, Dib was on the ground writhing in agony. Now... Torque Smacky was nearly out-cold on the ground a bump in the back of his skull.

Everyone gasped at the sight, shocked that the 'puny' Dib-kid had just brought down the neighborhood bully. Dib felt automatic pride of himself but that soon vanished when he heard a yell, "DIBID MEMBRANE! TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE! **NOW!**"

The collected crowd around the two boys parted half-way allowing the brave soul, which would soon be 'sorry' soul, march down to the open doorways, along the way he grabbed his pad and looked back at Torque, with zero regret.

~~~~!

"What in the hel-ck is wrong with you, Dibid! Do you know what happens here when you do something like that? HUH? Do you KNOW the consequences!" vice principal Alac barked at Dib, leaning over his desk to look the kid straight in his eyes.

Dib's hazel eyes widened for a moment at the vice principal's close call, "Yes, I am aware of the concen-"

"No you aren't! Then you wouldn't have done it in the FIRST PLACE!" Mr. Alac interrupted him.

Dib let out a sigh, to bad Mrs. Simpson wasn't here, even though she was the main principal she was still less 'loud' than Mr. Alac.

"Now go! I'm calling your parent and sending you home with a referral, maybe THAT will teach you a lesson." Mr. Alac shoved a signed paper into Dib's chest. The raven-haired boy looked crest-fallen, "Yes, Mr. Alac." he hopped out of the chair and sauntered away only barely hearing the 'insane lunatic boy' come from his authority's mouth.

He closed the door slowly and walked off to his next class, wondering how he could talk his dad out of this one.

~~~~!

He awoke in a startled frenzy. His heart-beat twice it's regular speed. Oh how he wished he could name this creature stuck in his head whenever he had lapsed into hiatus. It was on the tip of his segmented tongue but with his PAK malfunctioning till the end of time his past memories were slowly deteriorating.

"Stupid hiatus images... they keep toying with my brain." Zim hissed, pounding the side of his head with a gloved fist.

"Proximity warning. Planet ahead." the familiar voice of his Computer announced.

"EH? A planet?" Zim jumped out of his skin and sat up straighter in his control pod.

"Yes, a planet." Computer's now annoyed voice repeated.

"What planet? Tell Zim!" the excited Irken's antennae bounced in happiness on top of his head.

"Planet name; Earth." Computer piped up, confused, "Wait... isn't that."

"No... no... that rock... I-I it.." Zim sighed, "_It's_ my only... choice. Computer?"

"Yes, Zim?"

"Welcome back."

~~~~!

Dib walked home at around five after being demanded to go to after-skool detention at twice the average time.

He held in his hand the crumpled referral he was going to have to show his father when he arrived home. He knew his dad would be furious, especially when he had to stop his science work and go home just to give his son a lesson and miss time at the labs which he claimed meant less money. Dib knew that money was not a problem and that it was only a mere excuse for the real problem, he didn't want to deal with his wife's kids.

That's right, his wife's kids. Did the amazing scientist Professor Membrane really help create Gaz and Dib? No. Simply put, the sibling's mother was the only true parent they had. Dib never put much thought into his past family problems, he had enough on his mind already. But one of these days he would know the true story.

Approaching his two-story slanted looking house, he climbed up the single stair to the door and stood there for several minutes.

He didn't think at all during his two hours in detention on how he would break the news to his parent, and now standing there made his stomach churn, he had all that time and still hadn't thought of anything? Suddenly the door opened and Gaz appeared in the doorway, smirking, "You're in so much trouble."

"Yeah, I know." Dib mumbled, stepping inside the house, expecting his father to be sitting in his big chair in the living room, foot tapping impatiently but was beyond shocked to see that his dad wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"He didn't have time to come home so he set up a live link in the kitchen. Better stop keeping him waiting." Gaz informed him, still slightly smirking when she sat laid down on the couch playing her GS2 once again as she was before she heard Dib arrive.

Dib gulped and walked slowly into the kitchen, faced by a hover-screen almost immediately he yelped in surprise, "DAD!"

"Dibid **Membrane**! You have a lot of things to explain to me, young man!" his father glared at him from the small view screen, the small device leaning in on Dib's face.

Dib was tired of hearing his full name being called to him that day and sighed, "Look Dad, I can explain-"

"Well you better!" Professor Membrane laughed in an irritated way.

"Torque took my drawing pad and threatened to take it so it was just self defense." Dib pouted.

"It was?" the scientist, raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, Dad. When he started walking away with it I pounced on him, he kicked me in the gut, I got back up and gave him my final word." Dib continued in a hurried slur.

"So... you didn't pick a fight?" Professor Membrane scratched his chin.

"Well, I did deliver the first blow but-"

"WELL THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING!" world's scientist shouted, startling a few people in the background, "Son, why must you do this type of thing? You know it's a very strict skool and they don't tolerate that sort of stuff."

"I know, Dad, but I had to get my pad back somehow." Dib tried reasoning.

His dad was going to speak up when there was a loud explosion followed by blue flames in on one side, illuminating his father's facial features with a blue tint, he sighed, "We'll talk later."

After that the transmission screen turned to static and hovered out of the kitchen to some unknown hide-out.

Dib stomped his foot in a rage, "I almost had him! Stupid! Why am I so STUPID?"

"Because you were born that way." Gaz called from the living room.

Dib had enough of his family's attitude and stormed out the back door, slamming it behind him. Gaz jumped, slightly startled at this action, she then shrugged and continued her game.

The depressed teenager climbed the roof-top, finding his emergency investigating set-up on the edge. He crawled over to it, lacing his fingers across the dust-covered keyboard and screen of his old laptop. He grazed by an imprinted silver Swollen Eyeball symbol on the exterior letting the cool engraving to entice his hands to use the device.

Dib shook his head, _'No.' _he thought, _'I haven't used this since... that night.' _

He wasn't the only person who couldn't get the image of nothing but purples, blues, pinks, and whites blasting out in a brilliant display in a night-time sky.

"My eleventh birthday... you had to leave... on my _birthday_?" Dib gasped out, not even believing he was saying what he was, "It just proves how much the universe really hates me."

_To Be Continued..._

**End Note**

How's that for you? Hope you enjoyed the whole Torque v. Dib scene. I enjoyed thinking of that. And the whole 'Prof. Membrane isn't Dib/Gaz's real father' thing is going to be a reoccurring back-plot in this. :) Hope you enjoyed and **review.**

Time for!... INVADER ZIM HAPPY FUN-TIME END OF EPISODE SHOW!

"Uhm, okay." Zim looks upwards, "Where did that come from?"

"Yoooouurr crazy braiiiin!"

"What is this I don't even-"

This has been INVADER ZIM HAPPY FUN-TIME END OF EPISODE SHOW!

GIR pops up in his 'kitty suit', "MEOW!"

"GIR! Get away from that camera!"

**A/N: **:B Hehe... yeah, at the end of every episode I'll add something like that. Or similar. Should I keep it or not? YOUR CHOICE! Bye for real now!


	4. The Nightmare Relapses Part Three

**Author's Note**

Miss this? Well wait no more because here is part three of the four part premier 'episode'.

Right after a few responses.

**Tobi the Simsmeister: **Thanks. :) And I intend on keeping the end stuff for specific reasons.

**Tinowenn: **I loved writing the scene with Torque... I always hated that character. And yes, Zim is back! Rejoice!

**Kazehana23: **Yeah, I'd like to put more depth in the series, what better a side-plot than Dib/Gaz's mother deal. I plan on making the 'return scene' something you might or might not be expecting. Yeah, that's why I made it, the ending thing, to relieve the tension. Though I LOVE tension. X)

**Guest**: I'm glad to see you're enjoying this. Here's your update. :)

**Invader Gia**: Oh hey, Gia! Nice to see you on here! And yes, Dib giving Zim therapy is quite funny. Oh and you reviewed the same thing twice. XD Thought I should let you know.

Okay! On with the story then!

Cue the Invader Zim theme song!

I **do not **own Invader Zim or any of it's characters but I DO own this story, so no stealing! Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez

~~~~!  
_"Ah! Ow! Stop it! Put that arm down and just LISTEN to m- QUIT IT!"_

Dib laid on his back, stargazing out into the early-night skies. He had been up on his house's roof for several hours. Nothing more than 5 hours at the most. He had gathered his emergency investigation set-up and planned to just store them away, he barely ever came up here anymore, stupid memories came back when he was perched next to all those equipment.

"Wouldn't it be great if I could just float out there? Nothing but floating... no skool... no abusive siblings... no neglectful parent... just floating." Dib wondered to himself, eyes closed, mouth curved in a content grin.

Almost instantly after he saw that something bright flashed briefly, even under his eyelids. His eyes flew open and he sat up, staring at the sky, suspecting an airplane. Or a helicopter. Or maybe even a flashlight. Wait, no, flashlights can't be in the sky.

"So what was that?" Dib asked himself, he safely peered over the edge of the roof. Maybe it was Gaz shining a flashlight at him, to get his attention or annoy him? The windows were sealed shut, the doors unopened. He shrugged and crawled back over to his little nook, "Probably nothing."

He closed his eyes again, almost hoping to catch some sleep because he was almost sure he wouldn't get any in the small twin-sized bulky mattress he usually slept in. More like stared aimlessly at the wall so to speak.

The flash occurred again, but stronger.

Dib bolted upwards as he did before, even more curious and puzzled.

"What is that thing?" Dib grumbled, slightly annoyed. Suddenly he was blasted off the roof with the strongest gust of wind he had ever felt. All oxygen left his lungs for a millisecond as he fell to his doom. As soon as he quickly became aware of his incident he let out an ear-piercing scream, "Help!" he cried to absolutely no-one. And of course no-one came. He would have cried out again but when he realized he should have hit the ground by now. He cracked open a single eyelid and swiveled around a hazel eye, noticing he was indeed on the ground he jumped to his feet.

Amazed, he yelled out the first thing that came to mind, "I'm-I'm ALIVE!" He checked his body for any broken bones. Nope. Sprained? Zero. Bruised? Not one! He jumped for joy, then investigated how this could have happened. He turned around and discovered the zip-line he had created to get to his garage! That thing had saved him! He felt the bottom of his hair, it was still warm from the friction. He had never been so happy to have such a weird style of hair than ever before!

He now honored his scythe and rubbed it appreciatively, "Wow! Thanks!"

"You're most definitely NOT welcome."

Dib jumped out of his skin, "GAH-Z!"

He turned to see his sister in the doorway, giving him a look. Her squinted eyes were knitted in confusion.

"What are you thanking me for anyways? All I did was open the door." Gaz mumbled, crossed her arms and leaned on the frame.

"I wasn't thanking _you_. I was thanking my hair!" Dib announced, proudly, a huge grin plastered on his face again.

"You're thanking... your stupid _hair_? Man, Dib, just when I start believing you're my brother you say stuff like that." Gaz huffed and walked back inside, slamming the door after her.

"Yeah! Well who needs you! It's not like **you **ever saved me from a near-death experience before!" Dib shouted, pounding on the door in frustration.

"Oh yeah? Well I'd like to remind you, I've saved your sorry backside from Zim plenty of times, not to mention that one incident with the police dog!" Gaz returned from beyond the door.

"Those weren't near-death!" Dib increased his volume and pounded harder on the door. There was a click and a lock. Dib's jaw dropped. His little sister had just locked him out of the house, "Gaz! Open this door right now!"

"I don't have to!" Gaz retorted and a slam echoed through the house and out the door. Dib cringed at the sound, when Gaz went inside her room she didn't leave until the next morning for skool.

"Locked out again." he snarled, glaring daggers up at his little sisters window, "I wish I could jus-AGHHHH!"

In the blink of an eye the teenager was swept off his feet and thrown several feet into the air and back to the ground in seconds. He groaned in pain, rolling on different sides as his eyes slit open and he slightly caught sight of a weird scene... he was staring at a floating... purple... thingy? Dazed and confused he got to his knees and squinted his eyes, they weren't fooling him, there was a car-sized purple vehicle just floating in the air. The last purple floating vehicle he ever saw was Z-...

"Zim?" Dib mumbled out, slowly getting to his feet. He took soft steps toward the vehicle, not sure if it was who he thought it was. Who else would it be?

"Zim." he repeated, more louder.

The only answer was the soft hum of the space-craft, almost like a car.

Soon Dib made his way in front of the thing, he shielded his eyes from the powerful, bright headlights in front of him, "Zim!" he shouted now.

Inside, the Irken was gawking at the sight of the human. He remembered now! He remembered the human in his hiatus images! He remembered the humans! He remembered Earth! He remembered Gaz and even Ms. Bitters! He remembered!

"Zim!"

Through the tinted windshield he could clearly see the human standing bravely in front of his voot.

"How didn't that kill him?" Zim asked.

"You didn't hit him that hard, plus that and he flew onto the grass." Computer responded.

"Of course. Little worm... how DARE he still be alive!" Zim shook a fist, "Computer! Open the hatch!"

"Yes, Zim." the windshield slowly disintegrated.

Dib stepped back in shock as the barrier between him and the no-so-unknown person or thing in this case, disappeared leaving him face to face with his long-lost enemy, "Zim?"

Zim's eyes narrowed in swelling anger, "Dib."

For several minutes they just stood there, staring and glaring at each other. Probably taking in old memories, none of which either side liked or found enjoyment in.

Zim scowled and huffed, "You look like you've seen a ghost. Oh that's right. You probably have you parachuting nut."

Dib balled up his fists at Zim's words, "Good to have you back, space-monster."

"The feeling's mutual you revolting little pig." Zim snapped, leaning out of his voot to ram his head into Dib's. Once green skin collided with pale flesh Zim continued, "Any longer and I would have just _killed _to see you."

The human clenched his teeth and did the unexpected, he pounced into Zim's voot and wrapped one of his hands around Zim's throat, the other was occupied with beating Zim upside, on, and backside the head.

"Ah! Ow! Stop it! Put that arm down and just LISTEN to m- QUIT IT!" Zim shrieked, not expected _this _to happen. He aimlessly scratched at Dib's hands but the human boy had a firm grip and two years of anticipating Zim's coming back arrival.

"No way! Not this time! You see, I've been waiting for a long time for you to come back and FINALLY! After two years! Here you are! You tiny, little ugly... thing!" Dib shook Zim a couple of times during his sentence.

Zim screwed his eyes shut and compromised everything he had ever worked for in his time on the filthy rock in one action, he took one last gulp of air before... He bit down on Dib's hand... **hard**.

Dib cried out in pain,"Man! For zipper-rounded-looking teeth you have a nasty bite!" he clutched his throbbing and bleeding hand.

Meanwhile the Irken was swatting furiously at his tongue, making sick noises and moaning. "Gah! I can't believe I just ruined my amazing mouth by clamping it on your stupid filthy meat-hand! You need to wash your hands more often!"

Dib gave a hard glare to Zim, "Next time I'll wash my hands just _before _you get here. And I won't wipe them."

"Keep your pathetic threats in that huge head of yours." Zim crossed his arms and straightened out his bent antennae with a grimace.

"Oh, like I haven't heard _that _before." Dib rolled his eyes and almost completely forgot about his hand when he glared back at the approaching alien.

Zim circled the boy like a hawk, "I see you've grown an inch or two since we last met. I'm proud to say," he chuckled, "So have I."

Dib did another eye-roll before he returned, "Try three inches, shrimp. I'm 5'3 now."

Zim's glare hardened and it didn't even take words for Dib to understand what it meant.

"I'm taller than you aren't I?" Dib jeered pointing at Zim teasingly.

Zim's antennae bent back, flat against his skull, "By _one _inch you filth-bag! ONE INCH!"

"I'm still taller. So what now? You have to bow to me?" Dib glowered at Zim.

"I would never succumb to you! Never! Not even if there was an earthquake!" Zim screamed, getting his point through.

"I thought size matters on your planet?" the raven-haired boy pointed out.

"We're not on Irk. And I don't care about _height_ anymore. Height doesn't hide stupidity." Zim mumbled the last part almost inaudibly.

"What?" Dib turned to look at Zim, expecting his magenta eyes to be narrowed dangerously and annoyed at Dib but found that Zim himself was no longer there. Just in time he looked behind him at the voot and was surprised to see the windshield lowering back down and the voot jumping back to life.

"No! Wait! Come back you coward!" Dib called after the lifting space-craft.

Zim flinched at the word, one of the many insults he had heard before two years ago, "If I am going to be stuck anywhere on this filthy spinning ball of pollution I'd rather it be miles away from you!" he yelled out of his cracked windshield.

"Well good riddance! I hope you crash somewhere in the middle of the ocean!" Dib shouted back, voice at it's maximum volume over the roaring engine of the voot.

"And I hope you die a horrible painful fiery-" that was the last thing Zim said before not even five blocks away his voot disappeared from sight and plunged into the earth of an abandoned lot.

"Wow!" Dib gasped and ran towards the smoke, trailing it like a guide.

Finally he arrived at the crash site, coincidentally and ironically right in front of his abandoned base.

"Talk about funny timing." Dib laughed and ran towards the hunk of twisted and melting metal that use to be Zim's voot. He climbed over the small mounds of dirt that encased the half-shattered windshield and peered inside, finding a semi-conscious Zim upside down in what seemed to be the driver's seat. Dib gave a maniac grin, and reached inside to pick up the Irken.

He grunted as he finally got the tiny alien out into the open air. He threw Zim roughly onto the ground which gained Dib a long groan.

"Pretty funny that you land here, huh Zim?" Dib talked to him as if Zim could respond, in return Zim coughed.

"What? Something down your throat? Possibly your dignity?" Dib sneered, leaning over to the alien, menacingly.

Zim's eyes fluttered open for a couple of seconds as his muscles tensed and he got up, only to be pushed back down by Dib, he hissed and whispered, "Keep your filthy limbs off of me."

"I don't think so. I'm not finished yet. " Dib said through gritted teeth, he pulled Zim upwards by the collar of his disheveled and scorched uniform, "How dare you leave without telling me."

"What? What are you tal-"

"You know what I'm talking about you moron!" Dib gave a swift whack in the head to Zim.

Zim merely shook it off and kept his glare firmly on Dib's pale and angry face, "Why would I need to tell you?"

"Because!" Dib cried out in frustration.

"Because, _WHAT_?" Zim howled, magenta eyes almost seeming red.

"Because I deserved to know!" Dib fired back, giving Zim another rough shake.

"You don't deserve to know anything about me! What we had was what we did! And it's the past! And I plan to stay as far away from the past as possible!" Zim countered, shoving Dib away from him and getting to his feet.

"But did you have to do it on my birthday?" Dib croaked out, tears threatening to spill. But he wouldn't give Zim any other form of humiliation he could use against him.

Too bad Zim had very trained eyes, "Oh not this. Grow up, Dib. You honestly think I care! I have my own life to worry about."

"You're as much as an insensitive slimy jerk as I remember!" Dib shouted after Zim retreating form towards his wrecked voot. Zim turned on his heel and stalked dangerously calm back towards Dib. The content look on his face sent chills up Dib's spine.

"I felt that." Zim acknowledged the vibration he felt with his trained senses, "Look, Dib-worm, I have no time to spend in this useless town. I've done my time in this prison that you call home and if I have to spend the rest of my _miserable LIFE_, anywhere, I'd very much rather it NOT be here." Zim stepped closer and closer to Dib, now he was close enough that they were butting heads again as they had several minutes ago, "Do you understand?" it was supposed to be a question but it sounded a lot more like a demand. Not getting an immediate answer Zim strode away again.

Dib stood his ground and looked at Zim as thought he was staring straight in his bug-like eyes, "Yes. I do understand. I understand that you left everything here and basically left your robot to fend for himself. Not to mention the moose. And didn't even bother to inform me on your departure. And **don't' **say why would you, you would, I know you would. Just so you can boast and say all these other stupid things but I wouldn't have cared compared to just leaving me there... on the night of my 11th birthday staring up as your little spaceship disappeared from sight. The next months I spent on worrying about your plans, I made the most insane of theory's and kept telling myself that you were coming back and when you do..." he paused and flickered his eyes over to Zim, who was semi-hunched over a mound to get to his ship, his back was turned and Dib didn't appreciate it, he spun Zim around so they were face-to-face again, "I. WOULD. BE. **READY.**"

Zim stared right through him but was startled when once again he was pushed away by Dib. He didn't feel up to explaining anything to the nuisance boy but what choice did he have?

He took a sad glance back at his crumpled and broken voot and let out an exasperated sigh, he bent to his knees in the grass, back turned away from Dib. He made up his mind, he did have a choice, he was just going to pretend that the big-headed human didn't exist.

Not even seconds after he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head as a leather-clad foot connected with it. He fell to the ground in a heap, the world focusing in and out repeatedly. Someone grabbed his wrists forcingly and pinned them to his back. The last things he heard was a rip, a lock, and Dib's fading voice whispering, "Alien sleep-cuffs, Zim. Hope you have nightmares.."

Then Blackness.

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

Go watch one! I can't think of any!

**AND WE'RE BACK TO INVADER ZIM REVAMPED!**

_"Zim... Zim... Wake up... I want to show you something.."_

Green eyelids fluttered several times and cracked open to slits. Zim's vision swam as the scene unfolded in front of him in blurry shadows of blue, gray, and mostly black. He shook his head to clear the fuzziness and blinked even more raising his sore head off of a plushy surface, involuntarily he rubbed his antennae in discomfort. After several minutes of silence and disorientation...

"GOOD MORNING!"

"Gah!" Zim shrieked in surprise and rolled off the bed he was positioned on. He laid sprawled out on the floor on his back. He stared momentarily dazed up at his captor but that was soon changed to a look of pure rage, his eyes narrowed and he clenched his surprisingly sharp zipper-teeth.

"DIB!" he reached up to strangle the grinning teen but found that his arms and wrists were bound tightly in rope. He struggled and wobbled around under the binds and panted desperately as he tried maneuvering his fingers aground. But soon found that even _they _were securely taped together.

Zim huffed, "You're kidding right? You taped my fingers together. Stupid paranoid boy."

"I told you I was ready for this night." Dib answered showing a snide grin.

Unsurprisingly to Zim, he found his legs, ankles, waist, and forehead all bound in irritating rope. He looked up to see that his ankle and head binds were tied around Dib's bed-posts, "Oh you sick and-"

"Twisted human, yeah, yeah. Ironic huh how I get you with my 'petty alien sleep-cuffs'?" Dib sneered.

Zim let out a strangled growl of frustration, "But you're forgetting one thing sad, sad, Dib-beast."

"And what you that be you caged-in lizard?" Dib asked.

"This! AHAHAHAHA!" Zim laughed maniacally and triumphantly as he was raised to the air on his pak-... wait... he didn't feel any different, cautiously and slowly he craned his neck to see that his PAK compartments were taped shut, but even more horrifying, his pak-legs laid on the ground next to the accursed duct-tape and rope, dismantled from his system. He was still on the ground and a smug smirk and narrowed eyes gave clue that Dib enjoyed that little trick he tried to pull.

Dib clapped mockingly and agonizingly slow, "Very good show, Zim, very good show. But I'm afraid the only thing that will be protruding from your body anytime soon, is your organs. On an autopsy table." he tackled Zim to the ground even though the alien had no way of escape or defense. The force knocked whatever breath Zim had left in his lungs as he collided (once again) painfully with the cold, hard floor. He managed to wriggle himself free from Dib's grasp and he scrambled to the corner space between the bottom of the head of the human boy's bed and a nightstand.

Dib almost squealed with delight at Zim's posture. It was one of a frightened animal backing away from it's predator. The best part was that Zim was cornered now, he was all his. He loved hearing the sound of rope ripping as Zim... WAIT. _ROPE RIPPING?_

He jumped out of the way just in time to avoid Zim's pounce and the alien rolled a foot or two before stopping and getting on his elbows, glaring and growling at Dib, "You're DEAD MEAT!"

Dib let out a scream as Zim jumped again, this time acquiring his target as the two boys rolled around on the ground, Zim scratching and Dib trying his best to punch or kick. Zim had the slightest more strength since he was born fighting so he had enough power to roll Dib onto his back so that now Zim was pinning him down. His bare arms and wrists, etched with marks from the rope, clamped around Dib's neck.

"Stop! Zim! Please! I cant... breath!" Dib cried for mercy, clawing feebly at Zim's vise-like grip. His arms dropped to his side as he turned an unsightly shade of lavender. Zim growled once and released him, slamming his head into the hard-wood floor beneath them.

"Don't bother coming after me." Zim threatened and went over to Dib's desk, finding his elbow-length gloves and knee-high boots, he slipped on the gloves without looking thanks years of accuracy, instead his attention was on the semi-conscious human gasping for breath and coughing violently on the ground. He leaned down and picked up his pak-legs. With a swift kick in the ribs and a smile-inducing groan from the injured Zim left the room, the click-clacks of his bare, clawed feet echoing down the stairs and out the door.

"Stupid alien." Dib mumbled and collapsed from exhaustion and pain on the floor.

He would get him tomorrow... oh he was positive he was.

**End Note**

Hopefully that was a new funny twist on an old prompt. :) Hope you guys enjoyed now relish in the randomness!

From the makers of..._INVADER ZIM HAPPY FUN-TIME END OF EPISODE SHOW_! Is _Woo! _I don't own a thing except for this version! Other than that the below is a parody of Little Caesar's 'Fishing' Commercial. :D All credit goes to them!

Deep in the bowels of Zim's base the owner himself paraded into the main lab. Holding up a globe.

"Woo! World domination!"

Above him there was a camera flash and Dib raised his camera in the air.

"Woo! Proof!"

Zim looked up at him and shrugged, raising his globe again.

"Woo!"

Dib ignored Zim's ignorance and cried out,

"Woo!"

GIR trotted into the room carrying his favorite rubber animal.

"Woo! Piggy!"

Zim paused and rolled his eyes at the SIR units uninteresting toy. He raised the blue and green sphere again.

"Woo!"

Dib,

"Woo!"

GIR,

"Woo!"

Zim+Dib: 0_0

Zim: That is highly fiction! I would never ignore the fact that Dib-smell is in my base.

Dib: Yeah! And I wouldn't just let him slide with the whole world domination thing! Proof or not!

GIR: Piggy! Why you in the screen piggy!

Zim: GIR! Calm down! It's down in the lab.

GIR: No it isn't! It's in the screen. *notices you* *sees you with piggy* AGH! AGH! AGH! *his eyes turn red and he points his weapons at you*

Zim: Ah! No-no! GIR! Stop!

*GIR's weapons are heard charging*

Dib: Someone cut off the cam-

*static*


	5. The Nightmare Relapses Final

**Author's Note**

I apologize for having you guys wait this long for another part. It took a while but I have finally thought of how I can continue the episode so sit back, relax, and "watch" I guess.

Cue the Invader Zim theme song!

I **do not **own Invader Zim or any of it's characters but I DO own this story, so no stealing! Invader Zim belongs to Jhonen Vasquez.

~~~~!

_"I'm back... from my... vacation? from, uh, er-Europe?" _

Dib awaited when the little monster would come strutting into the classroom, in the same old bouffant wig and color-confused contact lenses.

"Any minute now." he whispered to himself.

The door swung open and his heart skipped a couple of beats... only to fall when it revealed to be some other classmates coming in at the last moment as usual.

He wasn't that surprised when Zim didn't show up at first, the alien had to catch up on his studies and pull out an excuse for his years worth of disappearance. But he was slightly crest-fallen when he didnt see his familiar green face around.

It was around Advisory when the door slammed open after a brief phone-call.

"You're late!" Ms. Bitters barked at once.

Dib's head snapped up and his jaw hung loosely when he saw who it was.

"Yes, yes, I know ma'am. But I have a good excuse you see uh." the student drifted off for a moment, "I'm back... from my... vacation? from, uh, er-Europe?"

Dib was the first to say their name, "Tak?"

Tak turned on her heel and let out a toothy, sadistic grin and narrowed purple eyes, "Oh hello, Dib. You haven't changed a bit... haven't you?"

Dib couldnt speak when she didnt wait for an anwer and turned back to Ms. Bitters.

"Horrible to see you again, Tak. Now take a seat." she pointed to the seat (ironically) right behind Dib.

She smirked at the seat placement, "Just like old times, huh Dib?"

"I thought you were Zim's girlfriend!" Zita pointed out.

Tak laughed lowly, "Ah heh heh. No. You see I dumped him a long time ago, I'm not the one with long-distant relationships."

Zita ignored her last point and continued, "Then why are you flirting with Dib?"

The classroom erupted in chuckles and snickers.

Dib looked horror-stricken.

Tak smirked at this then frowned when she turned back to Zita, "I don't know what you're talking about, now turn around."

Zita blinked and nodded, turning in her seat.

Tak let out a content, "Hmph." and looked at Dib in front of her, frowning.

~~~~!

"What do you mean Ms. Bitters no longer works here? I am her student! Zim!" the alien shouted, tapping his boot impatiently.

"You must have a misunderstanding, she hasn't had a Skool student for years!" the deformed counselor said.

Zim growled in frustration, "Well! If she doesn't work HERE anymore then who do I have?!"

"Your name's Zim, right?" she asked.

"Yes." Zim clenched his fists to keep from strangling the dumb human.

"Last name?"

"I dont have one! I am... adopted..?" Zim flicked his wrist in dismissal.

"Hm... you have Ms. Bitters." the counselor announced.

Something snapped in Zim, he jumped up onto the counter, "I JUST SAID THAT! But you said she doesn't work here anymore!"

She stared blankly and Zim, before taking him by the wrist and dropping him on the ground.

"She doesn't, she's at the Midul Skool. Which is where you should be... hey... why aren't you? Do you want me to call the police young man?!"

Zim jumped to his feet after fixing his wig and backed out of the office with a glare.

He slammed the large doors to the Skool open and marched out, growling to himself.

"Why am I even doing this? I should be getting my voot fixed, so what if they find out I'm back? I doubt they will." he murmured to himself as he walked down the sidewalk back to his base.

Suddenly he picked up the faint hint of sirens in the distance.

Had the stupid human _really _called the authorities.

The increasing volume and sound of screeching tires confirmed his thoughts and he broke out in a run.

~~~~!

Dib trembled slightly when he closed his locker and a midnight-blue-haired girl was standing there grinning.

"Hello, Dib." she greeted in a low voice.

"Tak." he grit out.

"Nice to see you again too." Tak returned then circled him like a vulture, "You see, I don't know how neither do I know when but I WILL get my ship back and I WILL kill you. You and that defect got lucky but I'm afraid you're all out of luck now. In fact, where is your 'lucky penny'? I haven't seen him yet."

Dib huffed, "He's not my 'lucky penny'. And I don't know. He-" did he really have to tell her that Zim was back? He had worked hard to get Zim back himself. He didnt need an annoying psychopath out for revenge to ruin his fun. Then again it would be funny to see her gut Zim. But he wanted to do it first. No way.

"He what? Spit it out already!" Tak whacked him quickly.

"He left. He's gone and I you _were _too." he Dib left it at that as he picked up his binder and headed to his next class.

Tak clenched her fists and whispered to herself, "You wont be able to avoid me for long, Dib. I will find out what _really _has happened." she chuckled softly, then it turned into laughs, finally she was in a full-out maniacal cackles.

Students all around her stopped and stared at her.

She stopped abruptly and looked around, "Oh yes, that was a very funny joke Dib haha!"

Some groaned, some just shrugged, and the rest narrowed their eyes at her.

"Psycho." one student called out.

Tak frowned disapprovingly and picked up a can promptly throwing it at the student, nonchalantly.

**COMMERCIAL BREAK (I don't have one so go watch some.) **

**AND WE'RE BACK TO INVADER ZIM REVAMPED!**

Zim rode in the back of a police cruiser, mumbling under his breath and being driven to the local Midul Skool. He had been caught not even a block away from his base and was forced to come with them to well- here we are.

The car stopped, and his door was opened. An arm took him by his own and pulled him out of the vehicle.

"Go." was what the large and robust security man said to Zim when he got on his feet.

"You don't command me what to-" he was cut off when he was shocked by a spear-looking taser device.

Zim doubled over coughing as he was pushed up the stairs to the fairly large building, he noticed despite the black spots forming in his vision that this skool was more sanitary and presentable than the former. The man pushed open the door for him and he walked into the air-conditioned main hallway.

He couldn't keep himself from whistling when he was escorted to the main office. This place didnt look half as bad as the old one. In fact he wasn't very sure that they were in a skool. It looked a lot like one of those hospitals with it's white walls, ceiling, and tiled floor.

The Irken was pulled from his thoughts as he was once again pushed ahead by the burly security guard. He hissed and walked forward to the glass window in front of him. It looked a lot like a bank or one of those places where prisoners were allowed to talk to each other behind well glass.

"Name." the bored-looking enroll-er said.

"Zi-" he was interrupted when she pointed to a button on the wall.

Stupid deaf humans, it was probably some way to hear him better. Well maybe they COULD if they took down that BLASTED glass wall!

He pressed and held the button speaking again, "Zim."

"How do you spell that? Like the country?" the woman asked.

Zim, highly irritated with the main office staff already, rolled his eyes, "Yeah, sure, whatever."

She gave Zim an icy stare before typing in the information to a small computer.

"Age?" she asked next.

The alien crossed his arms and thought, "What age do you think I am?"

She looked him up and down, "You look 10 but that's not possible if you're in Midul Skool."

Well that didnt help...

"Then I'm... 13?..." he chose a random higher number that seemed good enough and apparently it was when she typed that in.

"Gender?"

Zim sighed in an annoyed growl. This was going to take a while.

~~~!

It was 7th bell, Dib was fidgety in his seat as he watched the clock slowly turn to release time. He was in Science with a slightly crazy teach, Mrs. Taylor she was enjoyable to listen to and praised Dib's over-looked intelligence whenever he got a good grade or turned in completed homework unlike most others. It wasn't that he didnt appreciate it, he did, but he had enough turmoil in his life without being mocked for his 'good grades'. Which didnt make a lick of sense to him that everyone was taunting him for being _smart. _But they were true teenagers unlike him, more like a college student in a teenager's body.

BRRRRRRIING!

The bell rung and all hell broke loose as papers went flying and students crammed out the door to go home. He quickly gathered his homework and classwork in a semi-neat pile and stuffed them in his binder's pocket before dashing to his own locker with a small "Bye." to Mrs. Taylor.

He wasn't surprised to see Tak next to his locker but he was startled to see her sitting on top of it.

"Hope you don't mind Dib, I got your stuff for you." she smiled, despite her warm smirk her voice was cold. In her pale, three-fingered hands were his backpack.

He stared at the backpack in suspicion and horror, if the little beast knew how to crack a locker code she could sure as heck crack his garage code, or his door lock. Then he'd be screwed. He promptly snatched the backpack and checked it over for any bugs, or bombs she might have planted.

"Oh no, Dib. That's way too traditional. And quite frankly, messy." she seemed to read his mind as she hopped off the locker and grabbed the front of his shirt, "Say. We're neighbors. Why don't we walk home together?"

Dib sort of gulped then shoved her away with shaky arms, he slung his backpack over his shoulder and took off down the hallway towards the stairs to escape the maniac Irken.

She shook her head and chuckled, walking towards the stairs, nonchalantly.

Even though he had to jump the last three steps, Dib made it to the bottom in hopes of getting away from the strangely calm girl. He let out an exhausted deep breath and turned around, shrieking and falling right on his back-side when he was greeted with those electric purple eyes.

"Why run, Dib? We weren't racing were we?" Tak asked in her sickeningly high-pitched voice.

Dib jumped to his feet and backed away from her, "Why are you even here? Why did you come back? H-how?"

Tak chuckled darkly, "That's for me to know, and for you to never find out." she approached him with a white cloth.

"I thought you don't do traditional?" Dib shook at the sight of the wet cloth coming towards him.

"This." Tak looked at her cloth proudly, then turned back to Dib, "Is an-What?"

She looked around for the boy and let out an enraged growl, "No matter. I'll get him one day. It may not be today but I will get that human."

Tak stored the cloth back in her backpack and rushed out the doors in hopes of possibly catching up to him.

Meanwhile...

"HOWTILLIDAY! OUMERAY! OUT OF MY WAY! ANALIENGIRLISTRYINGTOCHLOROF ORMMEAAAA!" Dib shouted as he ran through the streets at top speed.

A few drivers watching him run shook their head and muttered, "Crazy UFO kid."

~~~~!

After a good hour Zim finally got enrolled into the Midul Skool, but unfortunately (but fortunately to him) by the time all the questioning was over skool has closed for the day and he would have to start tomorrow. He left with a 'preparation and starting guide' for his "parents" and was left there on the sidewalk to walk home himself.

"Hmph. So they take me here but they don't take me back. Rotten authorities..." he mumbled to himself as he started for his base.

Before he knew it he was on the cement face-down the sound of familiar yelling in his antennae. He snapped his face up and looked out at the disappearing black dot in confusion, "Dib?" he then glared and clenched his teeth, "Dib." he repeated with pure malice in his voice. He got up and was then knocked back down by yet another person this time landing on his knees.

He shook his head and only caught the glimpse of the back of a tail-coat.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING NEXT TIME, HUMAN!" he shouted shaking a fist as he fixed his wig and brushed himself off.

Walking away he turned around with a thoughtful look on his face, he then twisted it in anger and cried out before breaking into a sprint after the scythe-haired human and "tail-coat".

It didnt take long before Dib noticed the sound of steel-toed boots running towards him at increasing speeds. He cried out in surprise and ran faster, circling a corner to take the confusing back way to his house.

"Gaz will just have to wait." he said.

Meanwhile...

Gaz is stuffing his organic paranormal files down the garbage disposal, a small boom occurred and she jumped slightly then backed away from the now smoking sink and back into the living room to play her games.

~~~~!

Tak whipped her head around searching for the human boy, she had taken the chloroform rag out again and waved it around threateningly as she desperately looked with her eyes and antennae for any sight or sound of him.

In the distance she did hear the click-clack of boots on the pavement but it was behind her and there was no way the human could have changed direction like that without running into herself.

She huffed, "Then where is he?!"

The distant boots stopped ringing in her hearing and she heard the faintest of a gasp, suspecting it to be DIb she turned slowly to be planted right into the ground.

"YOU HORRIBLE CHEATING CHEATER MISSION-STEALING BEAST-GIRL!" came a familiar voice.

Her eyes snapped open and narrowed as she smirked and easily threw the attacker off of her.

"Funny to see you here." she hopped onto her feet and glared at Zim with a an enlarged smile.

"What are you talking about? I've been here the whole time." Zim lied.

"Well that's strange." Tak moved a hand to her chin and the other on her hip, "He told me that you left."

"Who told you I did such a thing?!" Zim's glare faltered for a second as he thought of exactly who that person was and how much they would pay for it.

"Oh no-one. It doesn't really matter now. What matters." she reached behind her back for a blade and got one from her disguised PAK, "Is that there is no-one here to witness a murder."

"What murder?" Zim looked around clueless.

"Yours." she mouthed almost and lunged at him.

Zim forced his eyes closed unprepared for a fight at all, well at least a good fight. But when the hit never came and rather a small girlish scream reached his hearing he opened them and stared in a mixture of shock and confusion when he saw Dib on top Tak, arms pinned to her back as he held her down with his knee.

"Run! You idiot! Run!" he shouted at Zim.

Zim nodded with a small glare and took off down the street towards his base.

A laugh escaped from Tak's lips as she heard Zim's disappearing foot-steps.

"Helping the enemy, Dib? I thought you and Zim were pure rivals. Hm. I should have known it wouldn't last. You two are too alike." Tak said snidely.

Dib released his hands from her arms and wrapped them around her throat as she did the same.

Between choked breaths he murmured out, "Zim and I... will never be... more than rivals... and you... will never be... more than... a psycho... revenge-seeking... alien... girl."

Tak smirked despite her air being cut off, "You keep... saying that Dib... Just know... friends who fight together... are going to die together..."

He tightened his grip and whispered again when she tightened hers too, "We're not... friends..."

Her form rippled and frizzled under him and upon her disappearing words she said, "Don't call me psycho."

He was then just a teenage boy on knees, gasping in the middle of the road. He jumped to his feet and ran home.

When he made it back he ignored Gaz's question of, "Where have you been?" and rushed upstairs to his bedroom, throwing his backpack on the floor next to his bed, and turning on a monitor. A shadowy figure appeared on the screen.

"Ah, Agent Mothman. It's been a long time."

Dib slipped on his spy-gear-like goggles with a grin, "It has, hasn't it Agent Darkbooty?"

"And why are you calling?" the mysterious agent asked.

The boy zoomed in on Zim's base and through the walls to reveal a confused and pacing Zim going in and out of the kitchen, he smirked.

"Oh nothing. Just to tell you something exciting."

Agent Darkbooty chuckled, "I haven't been excited since that Coryilopih case. But please, amuse me Mothman."

Dib slipped up the goggles to look directly at the older and wiser agent.

"The Roach is back... and it brought a little.. "friend" along with him... Psycho."

"Oh that is quite finger-drumming. Do promise me you will update me on this Mothman."

"Sure thing Darkbooty." Dib smiled.

"Darkbooty out."

**End Note**

And thus it BEGINS! Thanks you watching/reading the very first episode of Invader Zim; Revamped! Hopefully a surprised you and excited you for more!

Spooches out.

(I had to!)


	6. Episode 2

It was like Valentine's Day all over again. Tak had returned without a second's notice and Zim could tell she had a blood lust. She was her own assassinator, sent out on her own mission to kill him. She had the right wits to but no weapons at her disposal. After being set adrift far into the galaxy her PAK had shortened out. She had fixed it but not quite well, only to get her disguise and some defense mechanisms. Nothing much really. She had to admit she wished that she was on greater terms with Zim because he had the parts to fix her PAK fully. Then again, if she was Zim's ally she wouldn't need the weapons in the first place. But she had to make do with what she had in her advanced spittle runner's escape pod which again wasn't much. She had worked on her PAK every night and every day from the time she had landed back on Earth all the way up to this very moment.

Tak's escape pod was in the middle of nowhere, far outside of the city borders and discretely hidden behind a forested area. It was where she worked, plotted, and communicated. She was in touch with the Tallest finally and told them the whole story of what happened. She then explained to them her new plan to get rid of the human and the Irken. The Tallest said to leave the kid and just go for Dib but she then pointed out to them that the boy had seen too much. He had been in Zim's base, aboard her ship, and probably knew how to hack into the Irken internets. This all was true. The Tallest confirmed her plan and threatened her not to mess up again or there would be someone sent out for her arrest since she had escaped from Planet Dirt when she was still on Janitorial Squad duty. She swore upon her death that she would not fail them this time and they gave her an Irken year to capture and successfully kill Zim and Dib. Tak hadn't told them but she was also going to attempt to get his sister too for spraying her in the face with Poop. The little sibling packed a powerful punch however so she would have to plan carefully.

Tak looked down at her virtual dashboard, staring at the start of her plan. She typed on the keyboard and on the upper transmission screen came a site from the Irken internet. She had to order the parts for a new spittle runner.

Meanwhile…

"GIR, I'm going out to search for Tak. If I'm not back in an hour then I'm probably dead." Zim directed his attention to the robot sitting on the couch. He was actually serious with his statement, Tak was a madman and she always had something up her sleeve. He wouldn't admit it would be Tak since he still thought he was high above Tak's standards. Not to add that the human world was horrible and surprisingly dangerous place. He had an experience with that a while ago with the Dib.

"Okay! Bye!" GIR shouted back at him, concentrating on the monkey on the screen foaming at the mouth.

Zim knew that the robot didn't hear a word he said but he was used to him not listening, so he just closed the door and kept walking along the sidewalk, remembering the attack from a few months ago. Then it had been Fall but now it was Winter and Zim was up to his knees in collected snow. When it snowed in Zim's town it blizzard he had found over the years of being on Earth before he left. He could see some neighbors putting up Christmas decorations on their houses. Of course the dreaded Earth holiday of singing, and gifting, and other disgusting traditions was upon him and he wanted more than anything for it to be just over with. Winter was by far his second most hated season of the year. The first was Summer of course with its cursed star that messed with his head. He shivered involuntarily as he turned the corner to go down the long main street all the way down to the city border. He was sure that Tak had landed somewhere there it was an obvious hiding spot for him since that was what he had did before except it didn't turn out quite as well. He hoped the same would happen to Tak then she'd be the one getting her guts ripped out and not him. He would really enjoy seeing that.

He was snapped out of his fantasy when he ran into a lamp post. He rubbed the space between his eyes and mumbled under his breath. He had learned not to make a big deal of things as well. Apparently screaming at inanimate objects was deemed inhuman on Earth because when he had done it before everyone stared at him so he just let the lamp post go, for now.

The border gate was coming into view as Zim continued walking forward. It was basically a vinyl white fence with a worn look as if you kicked it, it would collapse. Zim did exactly that and within seconds a part of the fence came crashing down and he walked over it and to the other side.

He faced a forest listening with raised antennae to the sounds of the various beasts hidden within the trees. Nothing he couldn't just disintegrate. He ventured forward and disappeared inside the deep thick-wooded area.

"Eh? Why's it so dark!" Zim wondered aloud, walking around blindly. It didn't take long before he ran into something and the first thing he ran into was a spider's web.

He spat furiously and swiped at his hair, "What was that?"

He suddenly felt a tingling feeling going up his arm. When he looked down a large black spider was crawling up his arm. At first he didn't react to it but then he tried to flick it away. The spider knew this trick well and instantly shot a string on top of Zim's forehead and swung itself right onto his fast. Zim screamed in shock and swiped angrily at his face. The spider had given up and scattered away to a hiding space. Zim took out a laser and shot at the spider. He missed and shot again. He missed once more. By = the time he had successfully shot the spider he had awoken many other forest creatures; ones more blood thirsty than a spider. Zim stuck out his tongue at the dust that was once his predator and turned around only to come face to face with a mountain lion. It growled and bared its teeth at Zim. Zim hissed and knocked the creature upside the head. The mountain lion let out a quiet mew and then roared into Zim's face.

"Uh, you're one of those lions of the mountains that Ms. Bitters told us about aren't you?" Zim asked as if the animal would answer. And he did; with a loud roar.

"AAAARRGGGH!" Zim screamed as he ran away from the powerful forest cat, it was right behind him. He turned and shot indirectly at the lion. His vision was impaired so he couldn't tell where it was or not so he kept shooting over and over again.

And who do you think heard his screams and shots; Tak of course. She instantly turned on the ship disguiser which projected in front of it a hologram of a tree. Zim emerged from the woods screaming and still shooting, some flew into the sky others hit the ground and singed the grass around him. It took him a minute before he noticed that he was no longer being chased by the mountain lion anymore. He cleared his throat and kept walking as if nothing had even happened.

He walked in front of the tree hologram. Tak's antennae lowered, "I knew I should have gone for the park! He'll ruin everything!"

Zim started laughing and crossed his arms, in a smart aleck voice he addressed Tak, "I can see through your disguise, Tak. I know you're in there."

Tak rushed over to the main viewing screen where a video of Zim came up on the monitor. She remained silent hoping he would just leave.

"Don't act like you can't hear me. I see you and now I know where you're landed." Zim smirked, "You should have thought this through more thoroughly." He then dived for what Tak thought was going to be her ship but Zim whizzed right past her and tackled a squirrel instead.

Tak sighed in relief and look up amused as the squirrel scratched at Zim's eyes.

"Idiot." She said and then returned to her work.

In the background Zim is being violently beaten with a bat by the squirrel.

**COMMERCIAL BREAK **

Later…

Zim opened the door to his base, he let out a groan and fell on his face in the doorway exhausted and knocked out from the squirrel attack. He lifted his head a little and addressed GIR, "Zim could have sworn that squirrel was Tak-beast. Zim…" he dragged himself to close the door and leaned on it, "-was sadly mistaken."

"Aw, you look like you need a hug." GIR said and hopped off the couch to hug his master.

Zim waved his hands in front of him in a 'no!' kind of way but GIR still came and hugged him with all his might.

"GIR! My ribcage!" he shouted in a pained voice.

GIR released him and skipped off to make something for Zim. Whatever it was Zim knew it was going to be bad and cause him even more pain as it always did.

Zim sighed and took off his wig and contacts, rubbing his sore, scratched eyes. Then a knock came to the door. Zim waved his hand over the doorknob and suddenly the door disappeared from sight and Zim could see Dib on the other side, looking annoyed. Zim growled and snatched open the door disregarding that he wasn't wearing his disguise. Dib looked him up and down, from tattered tunic to shredded boots.

"Man, you look horrible." Dib said in a bit of shock.

"Why thank you, that's exactly what Zim needed to hear." Zim slanted his eyes and annoyance, "Why are you here. And make it quick before someone sees me."

"I saw the whole thing you nut-job. I mean, really you attacked the squirrel? How could she even fit inside a squirrel? Her ship was that huge tree in front of you! Did that not faze you at all?" Dib rolled his eyes.

"What tree- Ooooh. That thing." Zim came to realization.

"Yeah, stupid. And now you just let her get away. Now you really won't be able to find her. And she's out to get you Zim. I hacked into your computer and found a transmission between your leaders and her; they're allowing her to kill you." Dib brought out a laptop and showed it to Zim.

Zim sighed slightly upset and shoved the laptop away, "I believe you. They really do want me dead."

"And they anointed the craziest most maniacal alien to do it. You're screwed, Zim."

"Your words fill me with courage, Dib-worm. Look, if you honestly think I would work with you again you are sadly mistaken. We will never do that again." Zim popped on his contacts and wig.

"No no, none of that. I'm just here to laugh at you." Dib then burst into a fit of laughter pointing at the alien in the doorway, causing a scene.

Zim glared at him unamused, he took a single step back into his house and slammed the door in Dib's face. On the other side he could hear Dib groaning and walk off. He smirked in satisfaction.

After that he went down to his labs and brought up a video capture of the inside of Tak's escape pod. He had planted it before she ejected by shooting at her ship several microchips that could be used as cameras and now he had a full on view on what Tak was up to.

Why he didn't think of this months ago, I don't know.

Zim enlarged the image and watched Tak scheme up a plan. She was typing rapidly on her screen board and seemed to be on the Irken internet. He zoomed into her computer but the quality wasn't the best so he could barely make out the name of the website she was on.

"She's on a ship-part ordering site!" Zim gasped and tapped his chin, "Is that what she's been doing this whole time, building her ship back together?"

He watched as she ordered several parts at a time and then closed the website. She sat back in her chair and continued typing again. Irken lettering appeared on the screen. Zim looked at it carefully.

Order ship parts

Buy tools to fix PAK

Contact the Tallest on getting weapons

Trick Zim and Dib into thinking she's no longer a threat

Fix MiMi

"Trick, me? Zim! Zim will never be tricked by your plans, Tak. Maybe the Dib but not me. We'll see what this plan is and I will foil you at every chance." Zim began laughing maniacally as on the screen Tak was typing even more words.

Search pod for cameras

Zim stopped laughing once he saw this and screamed, "No!"

"Computer, take a scan of the pod. Destroy all cameras." Tak ordered.

A green light washed over the entire pod and in seconds Zim's connection was lost and his camera was found.

With nothing to keep him updated he was now going to be, as the Dib had said, screwed.

He took a look to his left and picked up a small device. He turned it on and once its screen popped up a huge grin spread across his face as his eyes narrowed evilly. Zim clutched it close to his chest and disappeared behind a un-lighted portion of his labs. Time to make a few modifications.


End file.
